urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:theconmandiarytheconmandiarytheconmandiarytheconmandiary2006-11-15T19:54:12Zurn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:theconmandiary:345Damn2006-11-15T19:54:12Z2006-11-15T19:54:12ZSo by my reckonning it's been a little over two months now since we crashed on this island paradise/hell. Nothing's different here. People are people no matter where they are, and they keep disappointing me at every turn. Now we're stuck here in these cages, not even together. Kate's over there, across from me, out of reach, but not out of earshot. She can be so obnoxious sometimes. I do wonder if she has any idea of the gravity of our situation or if she's just coasting along, hoping to be rescued by Dr. Jack, or that maybe Henry/Ben will feel sorry for her and set her free.<br /><br />Free to go where? Goddamn Ben. Goddamn island with no place to run. Why did They take us and not the rest of the Oceanics? What the Hell did we do? See, I know why they'd want Jack. HE's a doctor. Kate, as far as I know, has no special talents They might need and I most certainly do not have anything to contribute with, unless they're in need of bitterness and uselessness.<br /><br />I've been made to feel useless on the island. I've been made to feel, period. The survivors have yanked me out of my shell and made me recognize the problems of living day to day, but have they provided me with a viable solution? A better way? No, instead they let me get captured by the Others and now I'm stuck here in this damned cage, across from Kate. Across from the one woman I want to hold right now. Across from the one woman I want to beat into a bloody pulp for her inaction. I am torn between wanting to protect her and wanting to kill her. I want to kill her slowly, wake her up to her situation and then save her. I want to be the one who saves her. She needs saving.<br /><br />I need saving. And I fear she is the only one who might be able to save me.